amoderndandy:

A brilliant song - thanks to my-ear-trumpet for the recommendation!

thefuzzydave:

via gloriousmadness:

For FuzzyDave, that coxcomb


The Creation of Man (from The Scarlet Pimpernel)

    Peacocks!
    Sink me!
    Think ye, sir,
    how those feathered boys love to flaunt their tails!
    Stallions!
    Zounds, sir!
    Hounds sir! Stags!
    Of the goosie and the gander, sir
    Which gender is the grander, sir
    To render total candor, sir, the spendour is the male’s!

    Be an example to your sex
    Give your boot a dapper strap
    And it’s smarter if your garter has some snap!
    Cravats should be flounced about our necks
    Let the royal coattails flap
    Be bewitching with some stitching on your cap!
    Now, drape your cape
    And puff your cuff
    Embroider those lapels!
    Be the king of the beasts in pastels!
    La, but someone has to strike a pose
    And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes
    And that is why the Lord created men

    Strut, sir!
    What, sir?
    Roosters do!
    Give a cock his comb and the hens will pale!
    Bucks! Bulls!
    More, sir!
    Boars, sir! Rams!
    Of the nanny goat and billy, sir
    Whose beard is fully wooly, sir?
    It’s bully for the billy for he’s willy-nilly male!

    Sir, be a lion-hearted prig
    Fill those pantaloons with light!
    I could dangle down a spangle out of sight!
    Oh, yes! Be bold, sir!
    When it’s cold, slap on that wig
    Draw your britches in quite tight
    Even more so, and your torso will ignite
    Now, smock your frock
    Perfume your plume
    I’ll let my waistcoat swing!
    And the jungle will bow to its king!
    La, but someone has to strike a pose
    And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes
    And that is why the Lord created men

    Adam was a gentleman in Eden
    Though his body was admired
    You will grant the adding of a fig leaf was inspired
    If you’re out to make a splash, cheri,
    Do know your haberdashery!
    Buttons, buckles, ruffles and lace
    Represent the human race!

    La, but someone has to strike a pose
    And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes
    Each species needs a sex that’s fated
    To be highly decorated
    That is why the Lord created men!

O! Sink meh!