amoderndandy:

A brilliant song - thanks to my-ear-trumpet for the recommendation!

thefuzzydave:

via gloriousmadness:

For FuzzyDave, that coxcomb

The Creation of Man (from The Scarlet Pimpernel)

Peacocks!
Sink me!
Think ye, sir,
how those feathered boys love to flaunt their tails!
Stallions!
Zounds, sir!
Hounds sir! Stags!
Of the goosie and the gander, sir
Which gender is the grander, sir
To render total candor, sir, the spendour is the male’s!

Be an example to your sex
Give your boot a dapper strap
And it’s smarter if your garter has some snap!
Cravats should be flounced about our necks
Let the royal coattails flap
Be bewitching with some stitching on your cap!
Now, drape your cape
And puff your cuff
Embroider those lapels!
Be the king of the beasts in pastels!
La, but someone has to strike a pose
And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes
And that is why the Lord created men

Strut, sir!
What, sir?
Roosters do!
Give a cock his comb and the hens will pale!
Bucks! Bulls!
More, sir!
Boars, sir! Rams!
Of the nanny goat and billy, sir
Whose beard is fully wooly, sir?
It’s bully for the billy for he’s willy-nilly male!

Sir, be a lion-hearted prig
Fill those pantaloons with light!
I could dangle down a spangle out of sight!
Oh, yes! Be bold, sir!
When it’s cold, slap on that wig
Draw your britches in quite tight
Even more so, and your torso will ignite
Now, smock your frock
Perfume your plume
I’ll let my waistcoat swing!
And the jungle will bow to its king!
La, but someone has to strike a pose
And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes
And that is why the Lord created men

Adam was a gentleman in Eden
Though his body was admired
You will grant the adding of a fig leaf was inspired
If you’re out to make a splash, cheri,
Do know your haberdashery!
Buttons, buckles, ruffles and lace
Represent the human race!

La, but someone has to strike a pose
And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes
Each species needs a sex that’s fated
To be highly decorated
That is why the Lord created men!

O! Sink meh!